So I guess I havn't done a very good job at leaving this for a
while...I felt bad on Sunday but I feel ok today. I worked yesterday,
hasa was not too volatile and not too gross, but still aggressive and
impolite to people. He can also be quite intimidating to the littler
kids. But his behaviour was better. I'll see him tomorrow.
I've had today off, I havn't been up to much. I've bought some books
from bonanzle, but this is it for a while. I'm sick of spending money.
I made a chicken stirfry for dinner and cupcakes for sweets. Lifesaver
musk lollies taste really nice with lemon buttercream icing! (& real
butter is so much better than margarine)
I'm reading Beverly Gray's Journey at the moment. It's one of the
later ones in the series and it's good. I've heard of a kid recently
(i think he's about 8) who's read through the entire Harry p. series
five times! I wish I could just relax and read. Reading feels lazy to
me, I always feel like I should be up doing something. I have so many
books to read!
Tis all for now...

I'm done with this for a while...I need a break from everything.

Unmotivated...

That's me today (and yesterday) I just can't seem to make myself do
anything :/ I hate being in this slump...I know what (who) I want but
I cant do anything to change to the circumstances. I don't know...

I have been unworthy, unwilling, unapproachable,
unrighteous, unmerciful, unreachable,
unteachable, unsure, unaware, unfair,
uneasy, undecided and unwise....
but because of Jesus and all He went through I KNOW I have never been UNLOVED

I have loved you, O my people,
with an everlasting love; with loving-kindness I have drawn you to me.
Jeremiah 31:3

I'm feeling those unmotivated, sick of everything, lousy feelings
again after an okay week or two. I need to talk to someone about these
things...
We went to big w today and got some seedlings, 3 kinds of
strawberries, snow peas, snap peas, coriander, cherry toms and baby
peppers. I've always wanted to have a go at growing things so now's my
chance. I just wish I hadn't let L talk me out of getting the
beetroot. I'd love to have a go at growing potatoes (I've heard of
someone who's growing them on her balcony) corn, heirloom tomatoes and
lots of stone fruit. I'd even love to try growing mangos, even though
they wouldn't grow in cold Melbourne.
Not much else to say really... :/

I feel rubbishy, full of doubts, worries, fears and pressures
regarding the future. So many things I need to do. :/

Another day...another few dollars. I'm glad to be finished. Felix was
good, his usual self. (mischievous) It was nice seeing him light up
when I arrived, and he wanted to hold my hand at lunch time. It was
lovely when his sister gave him a drawing she did for him and he quite
clearly said thankyou and gave her a hug. He doesn't often even
acknowlege her, so it was unexpected. I've also been trying to teach
him how to write his name, just emphasizing the letters when we draw
together. I say them as I write them. Today while painting he starting
doing it himself. But he started with 'e' rather than 'f' and isn't
quite sure how to do 'x' but he's getting there, such a clever boy.
It was kind of hard listening to one of the girls talk about a guy she
hopes to start seeing and the text messages they've been sharing...I
do hope it works out well for her though, she's a nice person. Nearly
in the city...note to self: I must not buy chocolate biscuits on the
way into work because I eat them like single pieces of chocolate!

Perfection= when the 3:28 belgrave train leaves at 3:28:07!! Such a
nice day in the city today, not that I'm staying here!