Afraid but want to take the risk

Lying here in the dark fighting the temptation to email James & ask if
he will reconsider me. It's been a while since things really ended,
but I'm afraid not enough time has passed. And there's that niggling
fear that I'll again be made to feel like a nusance or will be ignored
again. I don't think I could handle that. But there's that tiny voice
in my head saying 'go on, ask him, he's worth the risk'. What should I
do God?