I don't know what it is right now, but James I just miss you so much.
I hate this, you not talking to me. I wish I could see you and give
you a hug, and have the hug returned. I wish I knew what I'd done for
you to turn away, so I could fix things, somehow... Please God, help
me in this. I feel so lonely and lost. I don't want a future without
him. Please soften his heart to me, please open his eyes to me, to the
love I have for him. I wish I didn't feel so strongly for him God, but
I do, and it's torturous loving someone and getting nothing back. And
the temptation is there again to email him. Please God help me!