Saturday, June 5, 2010


You are loved, so very much. This may seem crazy, I know, but I look at you and I can't help it. I really feel like this love I have for you is something God has ordained, like he wants me to show you love and compassion. I'm not perfect, inside or out, and I know I havn't always been kind or compassionate towards you, but I just want you to know you matter to me. You are precious to me, and I value you and appreciate you. I know we havn't spent alot of face to face time together, but sometimes you just know when someone's 'the one', and you're the one for me, and you always will be. I've been praying and praying for God to show me the way in this, and I'm going to keep praying for you and for his will to be done. He's really worked in me through this, drawing me closer to him. This is a record of all my thoughts and prayers.

These last few months, not hearing from you have been hard, I've really struggled with feeling hurt  and unwanted but the love and admiration I have for you just keeps returning. I've been fighting for you James, fighting to hold on and stay strong and that's why I've emailed even when I've known you were not going to reply back.

I'm so sorry about that awful email I sent you, I was just so incredibly disappointed. But you didn't deserve that. Please forgive me.

I guess what I'm saying here, is that in me you've got someone who thinks you're pretty wonderful and interesting and all I'm asking for is a chance to show you what you mean to me. Let me love you, let me know you and be a part of your life. You might be surprised by me too, there's more to me than meets the eye.



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